And so it begins (Sry, for the occasional typos, typing in dark here...)
That turning point so finely placed more than a month ago, i doubt anyone finds it hard to recall. No doubt an extreme change in attitude was uncalled for - I didn’t plan for this! - , but upon reflection I find it right. No Doubt you may have a different deduction - which is obvious by the way the class reacted - but I reinstate my will here to only communicate the blunt emotions within that fragile vessel of my soul.
At first it was obvious that he – or you know who – showed utterly no trust, so much so as the sliver of confidence in us to take care of our phones – a potent necessity for any outstation student. I build my case upon his lack of trust, a simple trust that has more intricate implications that I can list. As fate would have it, trust is something I value deeply in any form of relationship. Without this simple trust, I believe, a relationship dwindles to nothing more than stranger-stranger. But as time would have it, I valued him in a relationship I thought was of a much higher level, something more than what some people coin the lecturer-student. And so, the higher I pursued this relationship, the harder I was destined to fall.
And fall hard I did. I think it was painstakingly obvious that I was unpleased, or simply disgusted, by what he did. It’s a fact that everyone noticed that, of course including him. My argument here is that he has failed to even ask for my opinion on that matter. I quote from him on that day itself, “I suggest you turning off your phone and…”. For the next week or so, I’m sure most of you remembered that I appeared reluctant to surrender my phone. He noticed, and when I reminded him of my displeasure, he responded with an instant “put your phone or get out of class” thing. In doing so, he has shown utterly no respect in my opinion, so much so as not to inquire it. I would think that he has done so in believing that it will benefit of the whole class, but in ignoring my opinion, it simply shows that he generalizes all the reactions. Is it safe to say that if most is happy with something, everyone should be fine about it?
My next reason, which took some time for me to fully grasp the concept, was the infringement of personal responsibility. Our phones, as I view it, is a big part of our responsibilities. Our parents trust us to take care of it, the college trusts us to keep it silent, our lecturers trust us not to use it as a weapon of mass disruption. The list goes on, much like anything that has been bequeath upon you. But he has infringed upon that basic line of trust. He showed us that we are incapable of handling basic responsibilities. And as a simple insurance to ensure we do, he has simply threatened us with the “throw your phone out of the window if it makes a noise”. Of course, I cant say if he would do it, but it all boils down to the fact that he’s saying that we’re incapable of keeping our own responsibilities intact and that he can control us like little kiddies with lollipops. Or in amore provocative manner, he is causing indignity amongst us and of course disruption of self esteem.
I’ve basically underlined the root of my case, its developments I shall only impart if a further discussion is warranted. In sincere hope I post this in hope that at least some may at least understand what I’ve been doing, at most support me. And of course to prevent that annoying “but it’s a small matter” phrase from cropping up again. Indeed, this is no small matter, it envelopes part of my belief, my ego, and has become a story of my own.
Sincerely, Nick Ting.
No comments:
Post a Comment